Sadhvi

2003-07-03T20:34:00.000-05:00

When will I learn to " Manage people?" When will learn to be not so "Innocent?" When will I learn to be " selfish" and think about myself first. When will I? When will I learn to say "No?" ...When will I learn?

Darned upset today to see the way people misuse friendship...honesty...loyalty..........!!! blch..

2003-06-11T17:31:00.000-05:00

Ever since I have heard this song, I am just in love with it. you go Bryan !!!

Here I am

Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true

It's a new world - it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of - young hearts
It's a new day - it 's a new plan
I've been waiting for you
Here I am

Here we are - we've just begun
And after all this time - our time has come
Ya here we are - still goin'strong
Right here in the place where we belong

Chorus

Here I am - next to you
And suddenly the world is all brand new
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay
Now there's nothin standin in our way
Here I am - this is me

Written by:
Bryan Adams
Gretchen Peters
Hans Zimmer

Can listen to this online on his website. Ooh ! I just love this. Terrible bad days. Next monday night is surely a deadly night for me. Its either going to break me or make me. I am just hoping that everything turns out good. And from deepest of my heart this has to work ----or else I am dead !! Oh God !!!

Anyway, just out of curiosity, try this website - www.god.org ! I had this idea ofcourse but with a better picture. anyway, will come up with something. cya later.

2003-06-06T17:05:00.000-05:00

ya, whatever! Life goes on.

2003-06-04T15:23:00.000-05:00

Things that annoy me !

> Neighbors' dogs which keep barking late in the nights.(Can't help, terrible light sleeper that I am! I curse those neighbors all the time)
> People who don't keep up time and turn up late all the time
> Things that are overpriced or services that are under delivered. This really bugs me a loooooooooot.
> When I keep losing the minutes on my phone cards that I purchase to call home
> Busy network that take 10 minutes to load a page
> Dusty roads if I am a pedestrian
mmm.........will name a few others next time. Well, impatience has a price to be payed dear !.right ?

anyway, care to list yours ?

2003-06-03T20:09:00.000-05:00

'Enchilado nirvana', this is the name of the newly introduced Taco bell's mouthwatering(supposedly) delight. mm............nirvana.. sounds great. Sounds enlighting. Is'nt it. And guess how popular yoga is getting in here. And I am always heard saying...." you guys dont have serious health problems as we do, right ?". Ya right, and the simple solution is we eat healthy and not burgers for breakfast, burgers for lunch and burgers for dinner. We sure eat more than that buddy.

Anyway, its none of my business as to what people eat. As long as I get my dal and roti, I am happy. Right now, I am killing time. Trying to get some information on certifications but getting confused all the time. The one thing that really cheers me off in a day is watching the serials 'Friends' and 'Everybody loves Raymond'. Ya, I am working late tonight so I ended up watching T.V. Thinking of buying a T.V for my poor soul to watch. Its tough here after you find out you have to live without all those 'luxuries'. If anyone( americans ) tell me " you dont have T.V"...I feel like screaming at them, " you know Mr., we are not like this in our country. ". yanha pe sab dollar ke baav hai ! aur mujhe koi shouk nahi hai T.V ke bina rehne ki ! uh ! excuse my poor hindi pls.

Saw the matrix reloaded. I am waiting to see Harry met sally, but somehow could'nt make it out. Thats all I guess for now. I wonder if my blog also would qualify for the dull blog award. That's why I am not entering. gotcha !!!

2003-06-02T12:08:00.000-05:00

The weekend just passed by. One of my friends was dumped by her boyfriend and we were busy consoling her. The 'wonderful thing' about the guy is that he refuses to give any explanations. There were no fights or whatsoever and the possible comment is " I thought over it until now and decided not to continue with it ". What a F*** ing asshole. Excuse me for the language but where were his brains when he started to go around. I was so surprised that the guys ( some guys, ofcourse) still view the girlfriends as ' dolls ' and just ditch them when they get bored. And, I am also surprised by the girls that after such a good education and coming from good family backgrounds just throw themselves at somebody's mercy. Well ofcourse, I wouldn't want to bias my opinion because, I have seen a lot of girls dump guys too. But quite often, I have seen that girls portray " Oh, I am only flirting " kind of image or would dump for reasons like " I can't go against my parents, I am sorry ! ". But this guy was like crazy fella. I am sure I am nobody to judge people but I just could'nt bear my friend undergoing that pain. She was going home in August to talk to her parents about their relationship. And you know what, He actually dumped her after they both returned from a week holiday. The only thing I have to say is, ' Anything ......in the name of love'.

Anyway, all said and done, she is preparing to move on with her life. Does she have any other choice ?

Myaaan, am I missing home ? Too much. I read about the songs people are listening to or talking about the hindi movies and passing on their reviews, and I really envy them. Ya, we do get movies here.....but woh masti nahi hai ! and some movies are worth watching on screen. Anyway, I can't do anything about it.

2003-05-30T16:27:00.000-05:00

What color is your heart ?

Your Heart is Pink

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Took this quiz from quizilla. mm..Not bad, Uh !

And I surely liked the bumper sticker, " If they dont have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going ". Seriously, I am not. The world, if a sweeter place, is because of chocolates. I wonder how many people would agree with me. But I ain't counting buddy.

Anyway, nothing gr8 happening in my life right now. Still holding on to my tensions and worries. ( Inseparable, aren't we ? ). The most enjoying thing I do nowadays in my sparetime is reading the blogs. ....Thank God for blogs. Or Imagine where would my lonely heart go ??? I should have had computer at home. My blog would have certainly been better. I think a lot when I am alone. But here at Univ. it's another tired mind. But lemme just not worry about it. Have a good weekend.

2003-05-28T17:03:00.000-05:00

There was this comment in the Carolene Rhea ( a talk show) on WB 11 channel today, where she says( because she has to ) during one of their not-so-hilarious introductory talks " .........In India, they are planning to use reflectors on Elephants, so that they can be seen at nights on highways..., I mean this is for real...".......and the audience goes...clapp...clap....haa...haaa.!!
And this was bought like two or three times in the show. I was kind of irritated by this..........why do they have to give such false picture just to make their shows more 'hilarious'. And the students who were sitting next to me thought this was seriously true, I mean their remark looked like we drive in forests..... and I kind of quipped " ...Thats so untrue ".
And just to contradict( I think..?)....My boss wife is an accountant but has been laid off like an year for now and is still looking for jobs. And he was telling me that they heard this news on TV that some of the major accounting firms here in US are actually considering to outsource accouting from India because it saves them 3/4th of the money. Another reason to head back home buddy. I mean c'mon, now itself if we call any toll free numbers here we get the Indian Customer Service people ........and most of the IT jobs being outsourced........no wonder its a global village now. And which makes me feel......." Proud to be an Indian "

And by the way I took this test " what friends character are you " through Ferzana's blog and it appears that I am Chandler. Funny and sweet but I may say the wrong thing at times.... It is sooooooooo true. Thanks Ferz.

2003-05-27T20:14:00.000-05:00

Yes...........the studies can go to these limits too : " How you part your hair could send signals to others about your personality, hints a study that compared U.S.Presidents' hairstyles with their public personae. Want to look assertive and intelligent ? Locate your part to the extreme left . A right part indicates that you are gentle and caring. A center or no part indicates you're trustworthy ". How about that ??
source : SELF magazine, May 2003 editiion

2003-05-27T13:07:00.000-05:00

Bhelpuri, tornadoes and thunderstorms -- This is how my 2 week holidays at Oklahoma looked like. But I did enjoy though. The only problem was the disturbed sleep because the weather alarm would go on 'trrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnn' in the middle of the night. Yikes, anyway, Now I am back and safe in Illinois,.... not that I missed it. Loneliness people....! Lonliness. The problem with me is getting along with people. Very few desis to choose from and I get judgemental at first meeting itself. I know its not good but I do that. Missed all the blogging and catching up with all thats written by my fellow bloggers in these two weeks. uh...thats a long list out there..!
cya later. Enjoy !!!

2003-05-02T09:48:00.000-05:00

I got this from one of my friends at work.

George Carlin's Reflections on Life :
1. I am not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

2. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

5. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup ?

6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

7. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but going faster is a maniac ?

8. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking 5 miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is !

9. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are
always locking three of them.

10. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness.
Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

11. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a
T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry is'nt your biggest problem.

12. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's
because they're such beautiful animals.I think my wife is beautiful, but I
only have photographs of her on the wall.

13. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and
said, " Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket ?" I said,
" I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too ! "

14. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library,
the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronal Reagon Library, and the
Bill Clinton Adult Book Store.

Is'nt that hilarious .....??? Have a good weekend ..!!!

2003-04-30T08:46:00.000-05:00

Some of the english jargons( phrases/sentences) used by desis on campus :

" .....he does it wantedly you know "

" ........and I waited and waited and waited "

" ......knowingly she does it ..." ( does as in du-s)(as in du-plicate)

er.....I am not kidding. Anyway, will come up with more when I overhear in the bus or somewhere. cya later.

2003-04-28T16:03:00.000-05:00

No..No I am not bored of blogging or anything like that. Its just that I kind of go into this hibernation phase( or sabbatical leave, u can say) everytime I start to feel down. Actually, on saturday I wrote some comment but there was some problem with our school server and the page just disappeared. Did'nt feel like writing again as I had to catch the bus back home. But I am reading all other blogs though. Its one of those phases of life that I am facing where everything seems to be dark and I dont see any silver lining.
And moreover next week is the week of finals. huh! somehow I have to make through it. I hope I can.

2003-04-19T16:26:00.000-05:00

At an ATM
Difference between boys and girls while using ATM (Bank's cash
dispenser machines)
Boys:
1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip

Girls:
1. Drive to the bank
2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - Success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
12. Look for bank card.
13. Insert Card
14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written) in Handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. #Cancel#
18. Re-enter code
19. #Cancel#
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code
21. Enter desired amount
22. #Error#
23. Enter bigger amount
24. #Error#
25. Enter maximum amount
26. Cross fingers
27. Take cash
28. Go back to the car
29. Check make up in rear mirror
30. Look for keys in handbag
31. Start car
32. Drive 50 meters
33. STOP
34. Drive back to bank machine
35. Go out of the car
36. Take card and ticket back from machine
37. Go back to the car
38. Throw card on passenger seat
39. Throw slip on the floor
40. Check make up in rear mirror
41. Manually check haircut
42. Go into roundabout - wrong way
43. BRAKE
44. Go into roundabout - right way
45. Drive 5 kilometers
46. Remove hand brake
47. Call boyfriend/husband to tell how miserable she was because of HIM.

I dont know about the rest of the thing but the last (no.47) is true to its very word. Blame them for all your reasons....babaaaaaaay.
howzzat. heee..heee.

2003-04-15T15:47:00.000-05:00

Its so surprising how you can get close to somebody in just a day. Until, you meet a person or know something about their life they are total strangers. But then after a close chit-chat you feel like you have made a friend. There was this girl Mel who works with me. All along there was just this hi and bye's. But one day, we simply went out shopping and to a restaurant later on. And now, we almost chat everyday like close buddies. Ofcourse, I get a lot of sympathy votes (: winking:) at my work place first I stay alone and second, I am managing everything on my own staying away from my husband. tada..!!! I know most of us are kind of used to this but these people take it to the heart and they get me movies everyday....one or the other. Besides suggestions from anything to everything. Its nice you know to meet nice people.

2003-04-10T10:45:00.000-05:00

As I was walking out of the building yesterday evening, a girl came to me and asked if I was Indian. I said yes. Then she asked if I would fill out some survey she was conducting. There were only 4 questions and she requested. I said yes and started to have a look at the questionnaire. Here it is - as was in the paper she gave me :

"There is this boy in your class whom you dont like and he is of your same culture. He asks you on a date. You dont want to go, so what would you tell him and in the second line please write your actual meaning "

There is this boy in your class whom you like and he is of your same culture. He asks you on a date. You dont want to go, so what would you tell him and in the second line please write your actual meaning .

There is this boy in your class whom you dont like and he is from a different culture. He asks you .......................!

There is this boy in your class whom you like and ------------------------------------ " -----------------------------------------!

Now, I dont know if my mind was somewhere else or if it was incomprehensible for me, but I really could'nt think of any different answers for these questions. But I had to ( because she asked me to) write different answers. What the heck, if I dont like so I would just say...I dont want to go. kissa katam. !!! btw she was a undergrad socialogy student.

Now dont ask me why I put this in my blog. Because I was so irritated that I really felt that people sometimes really do useless stuff. I dont know, thats my opinion.
okay i am off to watch Maid in manhattan....." at my workplace..." tada !!! cya.

2003-04-09T18:34:00.000-05:00

Rumsfeld's speech today "...............The troops have captured the Oil wells in the Southern part ( I think and its 8 i guess ) for the Iraqi people......". phew !! wonderful statement I guess or should I say diplomatic.

Astrology. amidst war (???). anywayz...I am a strong follower of astrology, certainly not in a way that I check the timing and the calendar( to see which day it is) before leaving the house...but in a broad sense...yes. !!! I guess most of you must have heard about this place near Tanjore ( I forgot the name of that village ) where my mom had been a few years back where they kind of write everything about you just by collecting details from the imprints of your thumb. Left thumb for girls and right thumb for men. I am not joking they have listed my siblings names along with their dates of birth and many other details. It was indeed surprising to read all that. And based on our choice they either tape it or provide us with a typed english copy. My mom got for all of us. If anybody is interested in astrology they should go there and visit. Its worth it. Somehow I am into this stuff....and dont seem to budge if people opiniate against it. I guess its just belief. Like God. But I have this opinion that if one believes in God then they should follow astrology too. well...personal opinion again. And like these, there are many astrologers whom I have consulted who kind of tell me beforehand whats my next step is going to be. ( certainly not info about when I am going to die ). But I guess nobody can change our destiny. Right ?? !!!

2003-04-07T16:35:00.000-05:00

Is the war really goint to be over ....? this soon.

2003-04-05T14:58:00.000-06:00

I am really sorry for the breaks in my blogging. I run into these mood shifts these days. Seriously, the effect is so much that I come to the computer to post something and I postpone the idea by the time I open the blogger page to login. What to do ....these are the effects from being in this " ...is ajeeb des mein" ( meaning -- in this strange ( wierd) country). All along I really wanted to post some snippets from ....Is ajeeb des mein...stories. I use this phrase whenever I explain some strange facts I see here to my friends or family. So here I go sharing with my blog friends. .....To start with...I actually saw an ad in the local T.V for sewage cleaning. " ..call...1-800-.xxx-xxx for clean sewages....and help build a clean community ." goes the ad !!???.
Then there is this one.First of all I did'nt like the concept of selling the animal food among the racks with human-being's food. On top of it I see a ad for a cat food which advertises on these lines..." Do you want ur cats to have a strong teeth...why dont u go for...xxxx cat food which not only builds strong teeth for ur loved ones but also reduces the formation of plaque ...." ...!!!??? bah come to think of it. Wait the best is yet to come.
I knew everything is privatised in this US. But Funeral homes ??? I am not kidding. I saw this ad to choose a particular funeral home...!!%&*$#. Now what will u say for this one. Just imagine the people who will be fighting to choose a particular funeral home after the death of their beloved ones........!!! And I wont be surprised if they come up with some discount coupons to pursuade people to choose a particular one. ...Now I guess everyone will agree with my phrase..."Is ajeeb......." !!!$%#&*.

2003-04-02T17:27:00.000-06:00

This really made my day today ( It's so funny, this sentence i guess, should have been at the end ). When I went to work today, my boss said he had surprise for me ( the last time he said that, he had got me my fav krispy kreme doughnuts - the one thing i will surely miss if i come back to india-- or who knows I might think of openign franchisee in bangalore....'' bulb'') and so I said 'thank you' before he even mentioned what it was. Then he pulled out two CD's from his cabinet and handed over to me. I was awe struck to see ' INDIA HITS DISK 1' and INDIA HITS DISK 2'. And on the back side he had listed all the hindi songs he had recorded. I was indeed touched by this thought of his (he reminded me of my dad when he had handed over the receipt of my new Kinetic Honda and had asked me to go and pick one from the show room). I said a BIG THANK YOU to him and kind of glanced thro' the song numbers. They were really good old ones and new ones and few from the albums, all intermixed. And the real good part was that he actually listened to the songs before recording them. He liked few of them and planning to record for himself. So when his wife saw him listening to this music she seemed to have told " what on Earth are u upto ? ". I am waiting to run home and listen to those songs.
I was also telling them about Ugadi and the significance of it. They are so excited to listen to it and my other boss even told me " Oh wow I am learning so much about your culture that I am feeling that I should have been born there. and guess what other thing I have told them...guess....!!! ...the fact that the Indian girls come to their Mother's place at around 5th or 6th month of their pregnancy and they are seen to it that the ladies stay happy and eat a healthy balanced diet both after/before the delivery. They were really surprised to learn this tradition and said that no wonder Indians are a lot smarter.(actually this topic arose because we were discussing about a lot of unhealthy kids being born here and the doctors did not have a clue for it)
btw I was thinking as a return for this gesture I could get some ethnic gift for people at my work place. I was thinking of some Sandalwood items. Can anyone give me ideas as to what I can get them, which does not weigh heavy. pls...pls...pls. !! and ah...Happy Ugadi to all of you who celebrate this festival.

2003-03-27T14:20:00.000-06:00

Ayeshatalks about an interesting story on 'pray, aim and stay focussed'. Its a good one...really .....but somehow the things I am facing nowadays just makes me quit from life. Believe me, I have never been this down in my life. I have always maintained a positive attitude towards life. But these days, .....its like I just want to quit. Quit and do what ? No answer. But my mental state is just........down. And to top it all, study pressure. I really dont know if anybody can really understand the depth of what I am trying to talk but I really need..........some peace of mind. I may not even blog regualarly from now on, and also did'nt do it from past few days. I dont know what is happening with me. If I could do poetry....I am sure I would have put some good classic poetic words there. Life is just not fair....believe me its not. And I hate that. I really hate that. I dont know when I will explode from my frustrations...or what might happen to me if I just keep it inside like this. And for once, I am not asking for strength or courage because I dont want that. I dont want anything in life. Life is just meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. A BIG MEAN.

2003-03-19T22:07:00.000-06:00

what's up with all the bloggers. Most of them have not updated at all. Bored ???? Lazy..?? Mmm..there must be a reason though. Anyway...mera bhi kuch mood nahi ban raha hai to write. Saw the war news on T.V and kind of upset. Actually there was this interesting article on outlook india about the potential 'US' world . check it out : Confronting our fears
Kind of confused of the whole thing. I dont know if its natural to have these fears or am I a chicken ( Ashwin- no comments on this ) but kind of disturbed about the whole thing, especially far from home. Is ajeeb des mein ! ugh ! anyway I still do have concerns about most of the fellow bloggers not updating their blogs.

2003-03-17T19:44:00.000-06:00

I am so happy that I started this blog. I remember being so jumpy and full of life some 3 years ago and dont know what happened suddenly I was kind of engulfed in a cloud. But now I guess I am back to my normal form and I feel 'rich' with the friends I have made all over the world..., most of them share the similar ideas or in a similar situations...but encouraging, teasing and pepping up others. Its a beautiful world !! I guess at one point money does'nt stand a position. I mean I know it is necessary for a 'good' life. But you can still live and love life. Thatz what I feel. Eh personal opinion. Take a poll and I am sure to win( atleast I think so ...please people make me win !!!! hee hee ) Now..Now I did not say you can live without money at all...correction. If somebody comes right away and asks me " I will give you a million dollars but you have to stop blogging " then what do you think I would do or anybody in my place would do ? (aah sigh! I surely wish somebody comes like that maybe my long last billionnaire brother) (Jeezzzzzzz. ...what am i upto , day dreaming again, wake up !!! ). Surely I would go for the million dollars but but ( see 'but' actually explains my "whole feeling rich with blog" thing) I would pretty much make sure to have collected all the addresses and phone numbers of all my blog friends beforehand (before collecting the money I mean) and land at their places (probably on their terraces) with my newly bought helicopter !!! WOW howzzat....did anybody expect that coming. No! right ??? See this is where my day dreaming mind runs. Now I am sure most of you would want a ride in the air. Okay sochenge !!
Now please dont ask me why am I in such a jumpy mood. Neither do I know. I will be soon coming up with a gloomy blog one of these days and say " well...I am not feeling right. or something like I am not in a right mood, err..escuse me "...or maybe not. tada !!!

2003-03-17T12:57:00.000-06:00

My mood nowadays ( I mean 'today') is " yikes, c'mon, life goes on - what'z up with the worrying thing? ". Dont ask me why ....but whenever it is sunny and bright outside my mood is this. Thatz great right. I mean today my husband calls up panicking ....." ****** ( sshhh... thats my nick name ), there's going to be war ". and Saddam has warned...blah...blah...!! " And I am like ( who in normal situations would have panicked) gave a cool reply " oh' c'mon...honey life goes on". I can understand his reason to panick but I for one has decided not to worry ( atleastz for today). you see...'live each day as it comes'. Now how am I going to explain the great people out there not to do anything - right ?? So all I can do is sit back and relax...drink a pepsi at the max and say " life goes on". ya ya.a...I am getting the point...How many times am i going to repeat..." life goes on". what to do...It's been buzzing in my ears today and its not fair on my part to let it buzz only in my ears - u see. IT SHOULD BY ALL REASON -ALSO BUZZ in the readers ears so that they will try to buzz in their blogs and the people who read it will catch it and the chain goes on . baah ! what am i writing. whatever it is I am not going to go back and undo it. "Life goes on " you see. hee...hee...!!!! cya later.

2003-03-14T11:11:00.000-06:00

I feel so nice today because I have so many good people around. I asked one of my friend to pay my fees with her card( since I have'nt got one and get so bugged when my card application rejected that I have kind of made a resolution that I am never going to have cards from them(whichever has rejected) even if they send me one in the future....'come to think of it !! Ha! small victory of one's own mind I guess ..phew !).....anyway....so I kind of felt nice. She didnt even think twice and just said 'yes'. I mean she didnt have to do that. But she did and that kind of made me thank 'God' if he is there....because from many days I have been asking him for something deep down from my heart ( u know that earnest wish kind of thing) but not got one....dont know what is his plan.
Also, my boss at my work place is so good( i work on campus)....that really makes my day.....so kind of feel great about that too. People need not be nice to you. But they are ...which is what makes me treat the others I meet nicely. In a way ...its like one good deed begets another ( I am not sure if i can use it at this context...but i did ). so apologies if i am wrong. And not looking forward to weekend. Nothing to do...other than staying at home. The only thing I like though is waking up late or I might say early afternoon . so...........its going to be zzzzzzzzzz...zz.

2003-03-13T12:26:00.000-06:00

Noticed the change in appearance of my blog? This will keep happening until I finish my Web designing book and try to implement every word of it on my 'poor' blog. Anyway, the fun part is you will be exposed to the magical colors of the web !! Ha ! now what am i writing. Whatever.....sometimes it pays to be just crazy u know. Just talk whatever you want ....and not care for the grammar or writing or the style. Its good at times. I keep doing this kind of talking with my husband too. Poor fellow, He cant follow a thing out of it but is compelled to respond and take it funnily. Or else..................!!! Heee Hee...! Eh c'mon we just celebrated Women's day. Let me get over it. Gimme some time.
Feeling like partying. zoom..zzooomm....miss the bangalore's fun. Who knows if I get too home sick I might take summer off and fly there. Ha!!! come to think of it. OH ! if wishes were horses...... *&^%$#@>

2003-03-12T16:46:00.000-06:00

NOOOOoooooooooooooooo! I just wrote some 10 sentence blog and dont know what happened, it disappeared. I am not going to tolerate such inscrutabe mistake on part of the stupid computer. So I am boycotting .....from my writing. che ! balai ka zamaana hi nahi raha !

2003-03-11T16:05:00.000-06:00

They say Live each day as it comes. I really dont get this sometimes. You are feeling happy at times which is when you make resolutions to live each day and not worry 'at all'. And the next day for some reason (as realistic as - you did'nt have a good night sleep the previous night because your friend was talking over the phone the whole night till 3.00 in the morning and punched ur sleep) your mood is out and you start pondering "how am I going to live through this week ?" especially now that I have spring break and really dont know what to do. I needed a break badly as life was getting monotonous but could not afford it.
sigh ! Life goes on I guess.
Also today I was wondering(worrying - to support my blog theme) about the so-called " Identity crisis ". I am not clear on this either. Am I suffering(if thats the word which goes with it) from Identity crisis. What does it really mean ? Any answers ???

2003-03-10T13:36:00.000-06:00

I am really missing home today. I dont know if its because I dont have many friends or because I am just depressed today. I guess 'love' just transforms you into a different person that you never knew and that you never thought you would become one. I was the most enthusiasitic person, always positive about life. I dont know why I have changed and what is it in me that is crying for that inner peace ? Why is life sometimes without answers or is it that we dont see answers or is there always a definite time to see that answers ?

2003-03-05T18:44:00.000-06:00

I really found this funny !!

HILARIOUS……
# I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
# If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
# Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
# One should love animals. They are so tasty.
# Save water. Shower with your girl friend.
# Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.
# Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are Two.
# Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. ( this one's my favorite)
# The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.
# Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
# Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
# Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop ( I dig this )
# Children in backseats cause accidents Accidents in backseats cause children
# "Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep
# There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning
# "Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk !
# "Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours !
# When two's company, three's the result !

.... to induce my sad soul with some smile. aah! another day....to pass by.

2003-03-05T17:19:00.000-06:00

Ayesha writes about success and failure in her blog. I really dont know where do I stand. From past 3 years I am just trying to acheive something that I always wanted to do but in vain. I dont know if this is a testing period for me or if I dont really deserve it or something. There is so much confusion in my life that I dont know when I am going to break down and say " I give up ". I dont have any other choice either. It's difficult to be always on the other side of coin you see. I know everybody have troubles but a " a sustained troubled life" ( mocking at my y'day class's 'sustained competitive advantage') will force any enthusiastic confident person to turn into a lifeless person you know. I really dont have any confidence left in me to do what I am doing. It hurts because I am really not able to put my 100% effort into my work. And it hurts to know that. It becomes meaningless at one point and that is when you start regretting your decisions and start questioning your confidence. I really dont see any light at the end of the tunnel.

2003-02-28T15:30:00.000-06:00

I want to share this with all of you. This is from my quote collections and I really love this one.
" It's not always clear in life……………!!
Why we sometimes lose, When we deserved so much to win,
Or why we fall when we'd worked so hard, to succeed.
But, loss can lead us Down paths we would never have followed,
And to dreams we would Never have discovered.
You will find that Just as yesterday's Burdens have lightened, So will today's.
The sunshine will return And with it, A new chance to dream... And a new opportunity to succeed.
Know that you have within you The courage to set a new goal, And the power to achieve it.

If you seek only the reward, even if somehow you are able to get it, it
has no meaning. Seek instead to be worthy of the reward, and whether you
"get" it or not, you will have it. What good is the reward without the
effort and the accomplishment? What meaning does it have? Far better to
deserve a reward which you do not win, than to win a reward you don't
deserve. Anything that is precious and valuable -- whether it is a diamond,
an idea, a luxury automobile, a personal relationship, or a growing
business -- derives its value from the effort put forth to create or
obtain it. To have the value without the effort is impossible, because the
effort is the value. To desire the reward without the accomplishment, is
to miss the point entirely. Yet so often we seek shortcuts, instant
jackpots that will make everything better overnight. That is such a
terrible waste, because the time, the hopes, the expectations we invest in
the pursuit of "something for nothing" bring very little fulfillment. If
you try to reach your destination without making the journey, you'll get
nowhere. Instead, get on with the journey, and the destination will grow
closer by the minute.

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal.
My strength lies solely in my tenacity ".

~ Louis Pasteur ~

tada..see u on monday. We have some program from Indian students at my university. So I will be busy this weekend. uh -huh I get to wear Indian dress. cya later.

2003-02-26T14:24:00.000-06:00

nah..! I am a bad cook. Either people are too busy to try the recipe or its bad. Anywayz..no time for blog at all. got to go.

2003-02-25T16:10:00.000-06:00

Busy day. I dont know if I will be able to update my blog till friday. Imagine a student having loads of work ? phew ! where is the world coming to. Anywayz...I have this interesting recipe for a quickie sandwich for all the busy people out there ( by the way ( dont call me a bragger) but I do cook well, and enjoy cooking too !). This sandwich serves as a good brunch or a good evening snack( if you can keep it till evening) too. And let me warn you though, this is not surely for calorie watchers(or calorie counters or whatever) !! Okay let me start. You will need 3 slices of white soft bread. On one of them spread cheese spread evenly, preferably a flavored cheese spread and keep it aside. Take another slice and place a lettuce leaf. Mix finely chopped cucumber(after chopping squeeze it in the palm of your hands to remove excess water) and a tablespoon of Mayonnaise. You can even add finely chopped tomatoes too(again u got to squeeze it ). Spread this mixture on top of the lettuce and sprinkle pepper on it.( u can even sprinkle any of the salad dressings). Then cover this with another lettuce leaf and place a cheese singles on it. Cover the whole thing with another slice of bread. On top of all this place the third slice. And ur sandwich is ready to go. You can wrap this in a cling wrap/aluminium foil/tissue or carry it in a box, whaterver is convenient to you. Stays fresh for atleast 3hrs if properly wrapped without dripping.

Shucks no...these doesnt take even 5 minutes if you have the vegetables ready. And besides I prepare this in the morning and catch the bus. Okay. So try it out and let me know how you liked it....or suggestions if any..!!! uh! that typing was long. anywayz....even one person out there likes it then I am indeed a good cook !!! cya.. ##@!

2003-02-25T16:09:00.000-06:00

2003-02-24T12:04:00.000-06:00

Ooh I am late. But I have to tell you its beautiful outside with complete snow(feels like white washed) and its sunny. I think it snowed the whole night and stopped today morning. Well, I wanted to make the today's blog heading as ' Blog weddings'. But kind of changed my mind. There is a reason though. I talked to my mom in India on saturday and she was telling me that one of my cousin got engaged and he met the girl online( chatting). It surprised me that our family is one of those conservative orthodox families and agreeing for a wedding like this was quite a tech-influence. Now I know people still do chat these days but I guess blogs are the latest fad these days. And I kinda like this idea you know and I already feel I know so many people around the world especially from my home town Bangalore. So I was just wondering if there would be anything like 'blog weddings', I mean you meet the people through their blogs. Look its very much a possibility. But I really want to be the one to know if something happens like this. Just curious. Afsos that I am married. Or else.....!??* # @ !!. Anywayz...good if it happens..atleast for the people involved. mm...got to go. got an exam on thursday. Its so funny...I am one of those few people who will be talking about studies when most of them will be writing about their work or travel. uh..lucky people. I really want to get out of these 'study' thing and start working. Cash is still the king you see . cya later.

2003-02-22T16:05:00.000-06:00

I dont know from where to start, whether i will write about me first or it will done over time. I used to keep a journal(diary) kind of thing. up with 4 diaries. My husband always wanted to read that though I never allowed him. He still quips when I am in a good mood..." shall we read your diary". I dont know what I have written in it that I dont want to show him. But the very idea that somebody as close as him would know my inner thoughts...mmm...I dont know. Lets see. But blog is entirely different. I mean you make friends on the net. I was inspired to maintain my blog after reading tons out there and sharing their thoughts. I realised that people wherever they live have similar ideas(i would categorise according to the age group though).So here I go and make a resolution to do it on a daily basis. Ooh! I am sounding like a serious person out there. What happened to me ?

Uh! well, I dont know. I feel I have reached the end point of life and pushing myself to a dungeon. I am in a state where nothing is working out nor am I seeing any silver lining in the dark sky. Why does life come to such a state especially when we are so young and ready to conquer the world. No..No I am not a sixty year old writing blogs to drive away my worries. I am still a student doing masters in the far far land of USA. Though at times I do regret my decision of coming here. My husband is in India and No..no..! I had to take such a step in my life where I would put my dreams ahead of family life and take this step. Who knew at that time that I would feel lonely here.

aah...thats all for my introduction now. I will put some serious thoughts from tomorrow. Now that almost all blogs are about war I kindof feel guilty not posting something on it. But anywayz...lets zee. what happens.

2003-02-22T14:22:00.000-06:00

Here goes my new blog. Just testing...!!!???